Chapter 100: Bulky

Chapter 100: Bulky

She had to marry him and get everything over with. If Ara could up with something to prevent him from touching her, that would be great. But would Ara even be able to? Was there anything that would help her get rid of him whenever he tried to do that? And would he agree— Oh God, why hadn’t she thought of that.

Would he agree to skip the honeymoon?

Alarm bells rang in her head and she jolted. Was that even possible? Would he skip the honeymoon if she requested that? He didn’t seem like the one to give in to anyone’s request. What if she fell sick? What if she pretended she was sick? Would he give in then?

She swallowed down a huge lump in her throat and ran both hands through her hair.

She shouldn’t be thinking about this, she should only focus her thoughts on tomorrow and what would come after.

She should focus on how to break it to her parents and the joy that would reflect on their face after that. She was only doing this to prevent any problem in the family. She was doing this to follow their wish and make them happy for the time being.

They’d stop having expectations in her after the divorce. They wouldn’t pester her about any marriage again. And by then, her father’s wish would be fulfilled. He would have gotten back together with the rest of the family, and the divorce. It wouldn’t do anything to severe their relationship.

Her heart kept pounding heavily even as those thoughts ran through her head. Whatever she thought of, her mind kept going back to the same thing.

The thought of living in the same place as him. She couldn’t pretend to be sick for long. Not when there was a hospital and if she was suffering from any illness, the doctors would detect it easily.

And Ara wouldn’t also stay be with her at nights. Who knew if Cedric would even allow them to be together always?

And who knew the rules he might lay out for her?

Lucy pressed one hand on her chest and to quell her heartbeat. That didn’t do anything to stop it from beating so fast.

She stood up from the bed and took a glance at the clock that sat on the bedside table. It wasn’t midnight yet. It was only some minutes before midnight. She needed to sleep in order to have the energy to face her parents with the news.

But sleep was far from her eyes. And she found herself pacing back and forth beside her bed. She had to let go of these thoughts already. They weren’t doing anything to ease her worries. And they were affecting her mental health a great deal.

She needed to keep a clear mind if she could go on with this. She would agree tomorrow, she had to relax. Thinking of all those thoughts about Cedric wouldn’t help things. Maybe her fears were for nothing and she was overthinking a lot of things.

Her eyes darted to the bedside table and she halted in her pacing. She had to do something to keep herself calm. Even if it was writing down a journal. She had to remain calm and optimistic. She shouldn’t act like a coward.

She moved forward to the bedside table and squatted down in front of it. Then she pulled out one of the drawers. Her diary was still there. And right now, she had to pour her heart out. That would make her feel better.

It had been long since she opened it. After everything that had happened recently, she couldn’t remember when was the last time she had written in her diary.

And since she came back, her mind had been occupied with all those thoughts and fears, she could barely do anything. She had even forgot to look for her diary in that process.

The sight of it had even ebbed some of her worries. Hopefully, after writing down everything nagging feeling in her heart, she would feel much better. And she’d be confident about everything that was going to happen next, after tomorrow.

So she pulled out the diary and after pushing the drawer close, she went back to the bed and sat down.

Her fingers graced the hardcover as she rested her back on the headboard. She drew out its pen that stuck at its side and started flipping the pages.

It was going to take a while. And she didn’t mind if it would take her the whole night to pour her heart out. As long as things would be good in the morning and she was going to feel better, she would pass up this night and write until her hand ached.

She continued flipping the pages, the book was too bulky. And as she flipped them impatiently, her heart kept pounding.

Was it because this would be the final solution to her worries. Or was it because she was afraid the worries would go away?

She should be happy that she was having those worries. Whether she liked it or not, that wouldn’t change anything. Even though the worries were still there, things were going to be the same.

Her senses shouted danger and her instincts kept jabbing at her. But she had brought herself to get used to this voices. Apart from holding he back, they weren’t going to help her in achieving her quest.

The rhythm of her heart picked up at an even faster rate as she kept on flipping the many pages. She had to reach the blank pages as soon as she could. Before she even thought of putting the diary away, as her fingers had started trembling. It would only be a matter of time before she broke down again and let those fears and worries consume her.

As she approached the blank pages, she couldn’t help but frown. Her brows furrowed and her hand stopped for a few seconds. Why did her diary look extra bulky? Was it because she was anxious? Or were her eyes playing tricks on her?